Luca The Light
On the iPod, “You are the Reason” by: Calum Scott
My middle, Luca, is graduating pre-k today and I’m not going to lie...I’m losing my shit. Luca means “bringer of light” in Italian and He truly just has this spark about him…he always has. I swear it feels like it was just his first day of preschool... and at the same time it feels like he has been whining for at least the last 10 years 🤣.
He is a stunningly beautiful kid with literally the most butter soft tanned skin and big brown eyes and as he would tell you “golden” hair. He is whiny AF and strong willed and stubborn and pretty much survives on pure sugar, steak, string cheese and cucumbers. He LOVES to sing, knows every dinosaur’s name, could play “just dance” for hours, loves his family especially his brothers and friends and his girlfriend Georgie fiercely, and is extremely passionate about everything! He is both the peacemaker and the shit stirrer it just depends on the hour of the day. He easily ran into class and slammed the door in my face at 18 months old but has since began to struggle with separation. He has to kiss you and say good bye at least 54 times when you leave...to the point that it could possibly drive you mad, but if you just take a breath you will realize that in his own way he is only trying to slow down time and savor each moment. In so many ways, he is all me with a lot of joe bill (my daddy), a handful of his unkie monkey (my brother Andrew) and a sprinkling of his daddy mixed in..a slightly emotional 🙄, anxious, strong willed, attention seeking, life of the party, who lives on the edge in a great big la la la universe and who LOVES as BIG as he wants you to LOVE him. And I do... I love him so damn much...I wish I could just bottle him up (well when he isn’t whining 😂)
I’m so excited to watch him grow but I’m terrified at the same time because I know that he will set his sights high and there won’t be any slowing him down.
Last night, he came into our room at a quarter to 1. I can’t even remember the last time he did that. I couldn’t help myself but to carve out a little space for him next to me and hold him tight knowing that he is beyond ready for his next big adventure! Ugh...but my heart hurts a little and my eyes keep welling up a bit and it all makes me miss my Dad... these boys and my nephews would be his everything.
I know I will be a mess today. I will hug him a little tighter and my love will grow even more and I will probably continue to have this lump in my throat for a little while. But I feel so lucky just to be in his glow...My Luca Lou... my light...shine on my sweet love ...
Love,
Me
