On the iPod “Buy Dirt (feat. Luke Bryan)” by: Jordan Davis
https://youtu.be/EDj-snHS-6I
Last week I was on the phone with one of my best friends when Levi jumped into the car after basketball practice. As we were wrapping up our conversation we ended with our usual “ok, love you! Bye!” Levi was like “um… did you just say you love her?? Without hesitation I said “yep! Because I do! One day you will have your people and I can only hope that you love them as much as I love mine!”
My parents had good people too. The kind that they giggled on the phone with over something funny. The ones that knew them as people before they were a couple and parents. People who they shared their trials and tribulations and their dreams and mistakes with and that they loved deeply.
My Uncle Paul died Saturday morning after a long battle with cancer. He lived in Galveston, Texas with his wife Phyllis. They have always been Aunt Phyllis and Uncle Paul to us. We never questioned the Aunt and Uncle titles as we had lots of “By Love” Aunts and Uncles growing up. Aunt Phyllis and Uncle Paul were my brother Andrew’s godparents. I can honestly admit that as a kid I didn’t really understand why that made them so special. I, like most kids, lived my life so caught up in being the center of my own universe that I didn’t really see the relationships my parents had with people as much as I saw how those relationships fit into my own world. To me he was always my Uncle Paul but a while back I realized that he was my dad’s person first. His S.O.S. call. The one that reminded him who the hell he really was so that he didn’t get totally lost being Barbara’s husband and our father. I was just lucky enough to get him by proxy.
Almost 13 years ago when my dad died, Paul was right there with us as he took his last breath. He had just been in town for a visit but left because it seemed like we had more time. Things changed quickly and as soon as I called he turned around and was back. From that day on he stepped in wherever and whenever he could. He danced the father/daughter dance with me at my wedding, He gave me tough advice and told me the cold hard truth even when it was hard for him to say and maybe harder for me to hear. He loved my kids even when they were loud, crying and just down right shitty and taught them things about a grandfather that they never got to meet. And he loved me… something I never had to question. He was the closest thing to him that I had… the one who knew all of his truths the good, the bad and the ugly. And he didn’t take his role lightly. I always heard my father in his words. And now he is gone too….
But something magical happened also… a friendship grew between two girls raised by these special men. His daughter Jacki has become one of my people. We got pregnant within months of each other and our boys have grown up like cousins. Uncle Paul got to see that first hand and I hope it’s one of the first things he tells my dad about. But I mean let’s be honest… it won’t be. I mean sure it will eventually come up… after they catch each other up on all of the drama and pick up right where they left off!
Over the last few months I have realized how lucky we were to be raised by parents who taught us that sometimes the most important people in your kid’s lives are the ones who throw you your oxygen mask first and insist that you take a breath before putting anyone else’s on. That is love… and if you don’t see that then I’m afraid you might be missing the whole damn point.
xoxo,
Amanda
